Coroner: (holding scalpel) 52-year-old Caucasian male. 191 cm. BMI in high 20s. Recent covid infection. What’s the CoD?
Student: (nervous) MI? CVA?
Coroner: Good guesses. But it was DCI.
Coroner: (mock sighs) What do Universities teach anymore, besides wokeness? Domestic Cat Incident.
Student: (scribbles in notebook of acronyms) It clawed him to death for being late with the Dreamies? It gave him toxoplasmosis?
Student: (scribbles in notebook again, followed by awkward silence)
Coroner: Give up? Lurked at top of stairs. This mook (gestures to very good-looking corpse) stepped on the cat and went cranium over talus down a flight.
Student: Oh my god, how awful
Coroner: Don’t worry, the cat’s fine. They usually are after a LATOS.