Category Archives: our doomedness

Probably time for the XR post I haven’t been writing, because…

I have an article coming out that has come out on The Conversation (yes Sarah, yes Matt, you are both right) that may cause some fur to fly.  This post is for readers of that who want/demand to know where I stand. I will keep it brief and try to keep the glibsnark to tolerable levels

Are you some kind of  climate denier/lukewarmis/eqivocator?

I had a vasectomy in 2004 (pre-breeding) because anthropogenic global warming is all-too real. I have thought since mid-1991 that the human response to its self-created problem would be too slow.  In that I was wrong – the response has been virtually non-existent, if like Greta you don’t count empty words and emissions trading schemes

But you aren’t a full-throated supporter of XR, so you presumably think there are technological fixes, or that we can adapt to temperature rises?

Technological fixes? Er, no. Even before I started studying the intricacies of how innovation works, how social and political change are in a waltz/tango/rumba with those, I didn’t believe in that particular soothing fairy tale (and remember, fairy tales don’t always have a happy ending, do they?). As for adapting. Yeah, right. Because we’re doing so well at 1 degree, the 4 degrees we are probably gonna get this century will be a doddle. Er, no. My hunch is that the second half of the twenty first century is going to make the first half of the twentieth look like a golden age of peace, love and understanding.

So in that case, why aren’t you involved in XR, with all your obvious talents – well, opinions?  After all, it’s the only show in town.

If I were glibsnarking, I’d say because I am a Marxist- a Groucho Marxist – “never be the member of any club that would have you as a member.” But I am not, so I won’t.
There are two ways of looking at this…

But first an important disclaimer – nothing below is aimed at the brave and committed individuals who have been putting their bodies on the line, who have been treated shamefully most of the media, by the Met etc.

One on the basis of what XR’s demands are, and whether I could explain them to an interested potential ally with a straight face and two, my thoughts on XR’s likely success and longevity. Then I will address your Thatcherite ‘there is no alternative’ line.

One.  XR’s demands are both necessary but also simultaneously bat-shit crazy.

Zero-carbon by 2025.  Yeah, I say to people, I can deliver that. Just give me a week and a phial of smallpox and we will all be on our way.  Twelve Monkeys redux (fun fact – that is based on a great short story by a ,gasp, female author. #butIdigress). I have yet to meet a single XRer who thinks this is doable. I totes get the need for stretch targets, but there has to be a modicum of plausibility. The group I am in, we’ve put 2030 as our target for Manchester, which is that-bit-less unimaginable. And don’t even start me on zero carbon.

Tell the truth. Look, there are two people in the UK who are trusted. Queenie, principally for longevity and keeping her mouth shut, and David Attenborough.  Well, Dave, at long long last, finally told the truth about climate change.  And yeah, that has meant (checks notes), everyone has stopped flying, reduced their meat intake, stopped buying gas-guzzling tanks, sneering at the eco-freaks. No, wait.  The ‘tell the truth’ thing is again one of those propositional demands, non-reformist reforms  (yes I’ve read my social movement theory stuff), but wtaf, it also betrays this hypodermic informational-deficit model nonsense that the greenies have been doing for (checks notes again) like, foreva.

Citizens Assembly.  Yeah, because it absolutely would not be captured by elite interests who, and would absolutely not produce a shopping list of wouldn’t it  be nice claims that would then absolutely not be watered down and not implemented by – God, Bless the Civil Service, the nation’s saving grace   Because that’s what’s been lacking all these years. We just needed a bunch of good ideas so our leaders could implement them.  Just like Australia with its Ecologically Sustainable Development process in … 1991…

And don’t even start me on this “capital S science proves – proves I tell you! – that 3.5 percent means the government falls”. FFS.

But, of course, maybe we should take XR seriously if not literally?  Which brings us to two.

I have seen this movie before, I know how it ends. I was involved (very heavily) in Climate Camp in 2006, and for the first half of 2007.  I saw the same psycho-social dynamics at play. I have even read Jo Freeman’s ‘The Tyranny of Structurelessness’ and knew that it applied.  Sure, this is a sequel, so the body count is higher, the protests are more elaborate. But, I saw this movie before y’all.

XR, at least what I have seen, lacks the skills in meeting design, meeting facilitation, absorptive capacity, you name it.  It has oodles of bonding capital, which is doubtless strengthened by the latest rebellion, but as for it’s bridging capital is, yeah, well.

I have said this before, but it bears repeating – I am not dismissing the energy, concern, intelligence and courage – physical, emotional you name it – of participants in XR. I just doubt their prospects for success, and wish they would use their energy, concern, intelligence and courage to take a close look at what they are doing, how they are doing , and do some innovating (maybe this is happening, but I do not see it where I live).

Holy crap you can waffle.  So what you are saying is XR is irredeemably shit and we should all dance and drink and screw because there’s nothing else to do. Thanks, I will do that.

Er, you interrupted before I got to your Thatcheshite ‘TINA’ argument.  XR is not the only part of the ecosystem, it’s just the gaudiest…

So we should join Friends of the Earth?!

Stop interrupting. And god no. GOD no. Why waste the few good years before nemesis kisses us on the apocalypse getting people to sign colourful postcards.  No, I am saying that as well as the School Strikes (I am a bit long in tooth) there ARE other groups, or at least the possibility of them.  Smaller groups, trying to keep it radical, keep it local, and keep it long-term, for after this moment- and it is a moment- passes.  Groups like Climate Emergency Manchester (full disclosure, I co-founded it) which are trying to take a movement-building rather than mobilising approach, building up skills, knowledge, relationships, confidence, in as structured but simultaneously urgent and radical (that word again) as possible.  See the blog post “The January 4th 2023 problem“.

Yawn

Yeah, it’s getting late, I should be at the gym, and then be doing some of that research and thinking they are paying me for.  And if you want to hear about the why and how of Climate Emergency Manchester, well, for now you can look at this. I may come back to the gritty details later. And you can point out the racism, colonialism, sexism and classism (tube blocking, much?) of environmental social movements.  I will not argue with you about those critiques- they are almost always entirely valid. The more interesting question is how to make things less awful. But that sound you hear is the gym saying ‘where the hell are you, fat arse?”  I’m off…

 

 

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Sucking on the hopium pipe

In 2002 I got some weird-ass bug, probably from having been in Cambodia. I ended up in a lot of pain (probably as much as in my life) and on a hospital gurney.   And then they gave me some morphine.

Holy mother of God that stuff is the shit.  You just… the pain just… you float away on this soft warm cloud of bliss.

I TOTALLY see how people get addicted to that. You’d be mad not to, if you had serious pain (and I did not – it was acute, but not chronic, not omfg ‘shoot me now’ pain).

Anyone with a brain who looks at what our species (1) has done to this planet – the genocides, the ecocides, the wanton destruction driven by fear, greed, will to power etc – is in a lot of pain.  That would be the case even if we were not quite clearly a long way down a suicidal path that will turn this planet into a largely uninhabitable overcooked slag-and-plastic heap.

Pain is not fun.

So, we want to suck on the hopium pipe.

“New group X will save us” (for x, insert Climate Camp, Occupy, Corbymentum or some extremely new and depoliticised rendition).

And if anyone has the rudeness to question why the same tactics and rhetoric should be expected to come to a different result, oh my.

“Look has anything else got this big this quickly? We must be winning. If you’re not with us you’re against us!  Don’t be so demoralising. You must be unwell/jealous” etc

I will say it again, (though I am staggered and appalled that I have to). We. Have. A. Moral. Obligation. Not. Just. To. Act. But. To. Learn. From. Past. Mistakes.

Everything is just riding an emotacycle off a cliff. Again. Why should people who ought to know better be applauded for that?

 

 

Footnotes

(1)  Yep, there is common but differentiated responsibility. Most of that responsibility lies with people who look like me – white, male, middle-class, who either actively did stuff or were unwilling to speak up against it, out of fear-greed-complicity-etc.  Anyhows, parsing the anthropocene versus the racialised capitolocene etc is a blog post for another day, ‘kay?

What next for XR? Gazing dimly into my crystal balls #oldfartclimateadvice

Tl:dr  Hard to see radical granular climate action in the UK continuing beyond early 2021 at the latest. But I could be wrong.

Firstly the disclaimers:

  • Disclaimer the first: Who the hell knows?  Who the hell knows anything anymore?
  • Disclaimer the second: In cosmic scheme of things it doesn’t matter- we are a dead species stumbling, about to spaff all the achievements of the Enlightenment against the wall. So it goes.
  • Stories like these, scenarios, give a crumb of comfort, the illusion/delusion of control.

We are not quite a year in to the public face of XR (I went to my first – awful – meeting last September).  The whole climate ‘thing’ (including XR, Thunbergmania, FfF etc) seems to be happening at twice the speed of the last wave (2006-2009), for whatever reasons.   On Monday the next ‘International Rebellion’ is to begin in London, after the events of April.  So, rather than be overtaken by events again, I am putting this long-brewing post (where long = n+ 14 days, for values of n 0-14 days) so that I have to own my predictions and can’t fall to the retrospective smoothing fallacy (fwiw, I don’t think I ever meant XR in toto would be over by end of 2018, just that the idea of maintaining blockades for weeks on end in Nov/Dec was, well, ambitious. But maybe I did)

As far as XR is concerned (the school strikes are different, but not that different), I think we’re coming to a crunch point. Much depends on Monday onwards.  The April evens had a few things going for them

a)  weather (it was warm – can’t think why) and not too rainy
b)  novelty ‘hippies take over London, complete with ‘normal’ people among them’ was a good news story
c)  a gap in the news cycle from the Other Thing Of Which We Will Not Speak
d)  The Metropolitan Police were playing it softly softly (possibly because it helped them in budget negotiations to look outnumbered/overwhelmed? Who can say.)

For this next orgasm in the emotacycle to ‘work’, all of those need to be in favour again, and the novelty factor has to include LOTS more people (if numbers aren’t much much higher,  where is the novelty?) It’s not clear to me the numbers will be that much higher. Lots of people got to tick the I Did My Bit box by turning out in their lunch hour for the Global Climate ‘Strike’ on Sept 20.

It’s not clear at all that the OTOWWWNS window will be there.

It’s also reasonably clear that the  Metropolitan police attitude is different.  Clock this display of pre-emptive we-da-boss-ery. Seems odd to do this and then be all touchy-feely-dancy-yes-we-are-your-friends from Monday on. We shall see.  (Of course, just because the Met may want to change its tactics does not guarantee they they will succeed in changing their tactics/those tactics will succeed.)

But for the sake of argument, let’s say  all the stars align and this next rebellion is a ‘win’ for XR, then what? As far as I can see, then the pressure to do an ‘even bigger’ Rebellion next April will be almost irresistible (and it is not clear to me many participants would WANT to resist).

Okay, so say the event is a damp/ignored/plodded squib. In that case, I suspect that there will be some decruitment, some soul-searching and the splits emerging (the drones-at-Heathrow as XR’s ‘Brexit Moment’, as an insider said not long back) will open.  BUT if I had to bet, I’d say the cracks will be papered over, morale sort of maintained and the caravan will be kept on the road because, you know, momentum (lower case), it’s an emergency, and there is a summit to be hopped in Glasgow next November/December.  And given that the dreary mainstream NGOs (Hello Faux, hello Greenpieces) are busy playing catch-up and will be wanting to mobilise for the COP, then the XR will stagger on.

Meanwhile, in both these extreme cases, the calls  for granular, local, low-adrenaline-radical action will be ignored or wilfully misunderstood by most folks.

But I could be wrong. Time will tell, as she so often does.  In the meantime, will keep pushing on with the granular local, low-adrenaline radical stuff, as best I can, with people I trust.

The emotacycle- what it is, why it matters, what is to be done?

The article first explains the emotacyle and its four phases, then what its consequences are.  Given that these are (on the whole) negative, the obvious question ‘why does it persist?’ is next addressed. Finally, the all-important ‘What is to be Done?’ question receives a response, albeit an anemic and incomplete one.

 

What is the emotacycle? its stages/phases

The best definition I can come up with at present for the emotacycle is this:  a sequence of relatively predictable events and decisions by social movement actors (individual and group) to engage in ritualistic and familiar actions (marches, protests, camps) that allow for the performance/release/management of certain kinds of emotions, regardless of whether they ultimately achieve the stated goals of the individuals and groups.

A triplet of disclaimers first.

  • Firstly, I do not claim that this pattern fits all countries at all times. I am not playing Donna Haraway’s God trick.  My ambition extends no further than the UK in the last 25 years. That said, when I have described the emotacycle to people from other countries, they tend to instantly get it.
  • Secondly, if you’re going to respond to this with claims that I am ‘burnt out’ or ‘too cynical’, please save your breath/electrons.  Play the argument, not the man, ‘kay?
  • Finally, I am not a sociopath (as far as I know).  I do understand – and even celebrate – the importance of emotions in getting anything done (or indeed seeing the world as it is).  I am simply saying that while emotions can be a very useful servant, they tend to be a lousy master, taking you to all sorts of bad places, dead ends.

The emotacycle

Let’s start with “the orgasm”.

Months in the making, with countless hours spent planning, exhorting, negotiating, arranging (and arraignments), training, explaining, the Event (be it an occupation, a camp, a march, whatever) is finally here.  Thousands/tens of thousands/hundreds of thousands turn up (for the real number, you’re best of halving the estimate of the organisers, and doubling the estimate of the police: that should give you a pretty narrow band).

Everyone is out in force, with clever placards, chants and slogans. There is a sense of punching through the enforced-by-the-state-and-media silences and silencings. What the sociologists of religion call ‘collective effervescence’ is all around, what historian William McNeill called ‘muscular bonding’ – people doing the same thing at the same time, rare in our atomised world – gives a much needed sense of belonging, of being right.  Paper-sellers display their virtue by selling papers, those who want to get arrested have the opportunity to do so. Everyone is, well, happy. That’s not to be sniffed at. Happiness, for anyone who reads the newspaper or has a Twitter feed, is in short supply (but Capitalism will provide you with anti-depressants, for a price).

The aftermath

This moment is, of course, fleeting (though is afterwards turned from four days into a week, or from six days into a fortnight: you should have seen the one that got away…).  And after the orgasm cometh the grump: the period of sadness, le petit mort. There will inevitably be disappointments: banners captured by the police, never to reappear, disappointing numbers of papers sold, the lack of being arrested or the surprising brutality and inadequately supported-ness of it. There will be recriminations about the media doing what the media does (ignoring, distorting, silencing, sensationalising, deriding), about the mainstream NGOs hijacking/watering down.  What was it all for, ask those who had poured their hearts and souls into self-seduction, into believing that this was a step on the path to the New Jerusalem?

The reckoning 

While some head for the exits, the more committed, the more embedded (in affinity groups, teams, groups, groupuscules, sects) dust themselves off and ask’ what next?’  And while some might be suggesting localising, making better connections with people and groups who were not at the last orgasm (and even asking why they weren’t there), others will want to repeat the experience.  There’s usually not much of a sensible debate. A future Important Date is found, agreed (by mysterious processes), and months in the making, with countless hours spent planning, exhorting, negotiating, arranging (and arraignments), training, explaining

The “feeder events”

There are to be feeder events (in Quaker halls and social centres) where guest speakers are brought in, but the key message is that the most important thing anyone can do is to get ready for the Orgasm, to be held at a not-too-distant date, in Another Place – i.e. the capital city.  Even previously stand-alone ventures, that were proposed as opportunities for local capacity and coalition- building, are retro-engineered into being feeder events.

And finally the Event (be it an occupation, a camp, a march, whatever) is finally here…

Now, if the next Event is bigger (which automatically means better)  than the last, then this cycle will continue. But sooner or later – for reasons of state or reasons of the media’s attention shifting, or organisational schism and exhaustion, the next one won’t be, and then the air rapidly leaks out of the dirigible, or it flames out like the Hindenburg…

emotacycle

What are its consequences?

Emotacycles are not so bad for getting an issue onto the policy agenda (hello Extinction Rebellion), or expressing dissatisfaction with a war (why aren’t Blair and Bush in chokey, for like, ever?).  They might even create enough pressure for a new policy to get passed (the ur-case being the 1964 Civil Rights Act in the US).

  • Some movement “stars” are born, and get media or NGO careers,
  • With the extra philanthrapocash sloshing around, existing NGOs grow, or new ones form.
  • The whole process provides an easy hook for journalists and historians.

But such a process often distracts and exhausts local groups, leaving them with few allies and relationships because they have spent all their limited time, energy, bandwidth on doing logistics for the next emotacycle.

For people who aren’t into taking part in these (because they have kids, sick parents, zero-hour contracts, no cash, a fear of getting arrested, a physical disability etc), their need for other legitimate and celebrated ways to be involved are ignored (or, more charitably, deferred – endlessly deferred).

For those watching from afar, curious about whether to get involved, what they see is a group of hyper-committed people doing lots of virtue-signalling, while ignoring the local.

 

Why does it persist?

So the obvious question is – if it is as bad as all that, surely it wouldn’t persist? (well, no – evolutionist fallacy of perfectibility, but I digress).

This is where I will lose some readers, who will accuse me of gross cynicism – but, you know, I have no fucks left to give. The emotacycle meets psychological needs – it gives a sense of momentum, but also provides easy, predictable ways to earn status tokens within the particular movement sub-culture(s) with which you identify.

Beyond these simple (simplistic and reductive) psychologisings, this:   It’s difficult to innovate, especially when the alternatives seem alien to passersby, and they lack adrenaline, testosterone and being able to see yourself in the Mirror (or the Guardian).  Machiavelli said it best –

The innovator makes enemies of all those who prospered under the old order, and only lukewarm support is forthcoming from those who would prosper under the new. Their support is lukewarm partly from fear of their adversaries, who have the existing laws on their side, and partly because men are generally incredulous, never really trusting new things unless they have tested them by experience.

Individuals and organisations, understandably, stick to what they know, what they think they are good at. The Cargo Cult of marching and emoting continues

 

What could be done about it?

To be honest, probably not much. Too many needs are being met, too much inertia is in play, from a socio-material point of view, for any transruptive breakthroughs.  Below are the behaviours I engage (indulge?) in..

  • Call it when you see it, and maybe hand out this sheet that explains the emotacycle in simple terms.  (link to two pages of A4)
  • Refuse to participate in it
  • Participate in other, better things. If other, better things don’t exist in your town or city, well, get to work? Good luck!

 

About the author

Marc Hudson hasn’t been on a march, a camp or to anything else more than 1km distant from where he happens to work/live that had a predicted emotacycle score of more than about 4 out of 10 for many years. What, with climate breakdown upon us, life really is, literally,  too short.

Of Greta, misogyny, patriarchy, technology and shattered dreams

On Twitter right now (in my stream anyhow) people are talking about why Greta Thunberg, Jamie Margolin and AOC are triggering such incandescent (old, white) male rage.

I’ve written a bit about this here and here, but here’s a recap/short0version.

This, in my opinion, goes back way further than August 2018, when one Swedish girl started her solo strike.

Let’s take it back to 1945 (you could take it back hundreds of years if you like, as whip-smart eco-feminists like Carolyn Merchant have, but I promised short).

In August 1945 the “Good Guys” won. They unleashed the power of the sun, via some crazy expensive and smart scientists on two previously untouched Japanese cities. And the bombs were called? Little Boy and Fat Man.

And the next twenty years were all about how white, male, heterosexual scientists were going to control everything. Electricity would be too cheap to meter, DDT would kill all the pests etc. Holiday on the moon, jetpacks, you name it. Production Science, on both sides of the Iron Curtain, would control EVERYTHING. Women in the kitchen, queers in the closet, blacks in their place, mother nature under the thumb/in the test tube.

Then, between 1960 and 1975, all that (was) unravelled. The heroism of countless Civil Rights activists (far too few of them white, but that is another story) meant that black people could no longer be treated like fifth class citizens. Learning from those struggles and disgusted by the patriarchy and male supremacism of the ‘peace’ movement, women’s liberation activists decided fuck your kitchen. Then Stonewall…
And meanwhile, that nature that was going to be under the thumb? Er, no. Impact science began to show the damage that the industrial dreams were creating (thalidomide, Silent Spring -written by another of those damnable women – , DDT, Ozone hole, through to Seveso).

So, if you were a hetero white man, in the technostructure, your simple Great Chain of Being narrative, with you at the top, just went to hell.

Shortly after, with the post-War Keynesian consensus in tatters, the neoliberal pushback succeeded. Now the old settlement – that if you were a working class/middle-class white man, you’d have enough money to keep (interesting word) a wife and two kids on your wage – evaporated. But rather than blame our lords and masters (again, interesting phrase), it’s easier to pin the blame on the feminazis, the uppity you-know-whats, the eco-freaks.

And then, finally, there is also this. The old white men have spent thirty years denying the major consequence of all their dreams – climate change. And now, it’s kinda obvious – even, perhaps – to themselves, that they were…. gasp…. wrong.

NONE OF THIS CAN BE THEIR FAULT. Reflectiveness, humility, none of that was selected for, in the Darwinian sense, at the Darwinian schools and universities they went to.

Therefore, it must be someone else’s fault. Ideally someone young, and whose demeanour (not ‘neuro-typical’) leaves them – and they hope others – uneasy.

If Greta Thunberg, with her guts, her clarity, her humour, did not exist to enrage these [insert your favourite noun here], they’d have had to invent her.

 

UPDATE: It’s been pointed out to me that this is an extremely US/Europe-centric view of the resistance to these things in the 1960s and 1970s (Algeria, Vietnam, Cuba, etc).  Indeed yes. But I was promising to keep it short and as an ‘explanation’ for the white hot old white male rage at Greta…

Of cargo cults, social movements and accelerating transitions. #magicalthinking

Imagine tribespeople in the South Pacific. Sure, lots of trading, and contact with Europeans (good and bad).  But what happened in 1942 and 1943 must have blown their minds.  Giant white men who could fly arrived in big metal birds, with chewing gum and coca cola.  And then, as quickly as they came (with the war won), they left.

How to bring them back?  How to achieve something so far out your own experience, your own cosmology? Well, if you clear runways, and make bamboo representations of the big metal birds, perhaps this display of faith and begging would be enough to convince the gods to send back the coca-cola and the gum…

And anthropologists call these cargo cults.

Imagine ‘advanced’ people, with literacy, indoor plumbing and other markers of civilisation in, oh, England. Sure, lots of reading, and contact with the idea of ‘sustainability.’ But what was called upon them to do in 2018 and 2019 must have blown their minds. A giant need for immediate and fundamental change in not just their big metal birds, but their big metal factories, their small metal vehicles, the food on their plates, the visions of the good life (more of everything, all the time).

How to bring it about? How to achieve something so far out of experience or cosmology? Well, cast your mind back, rifle through the accepted images. Social movements … What images? What folk tales? Ah, the “I have a dream” speech, the march on Washington in 1963. (Forget – or never know- that it was contested as a time-and-energy-suck, as an ego-driven distraction by those struggling on the ground in the South, and indeed the North).)

Perhaps if we repeat this display of faith and begging, this march, it will be enough for the magical transition (or transformation – it’s a live debate), perhaps it will convince the gods to send back harmony and balance (that never really was).

And social movement scholars (okay, me) call this a cargo cult.

We are, individually and on our good days, away from the groupthink that degrades us, smarter than this. Or most of us are, or can be, at least some of the time. But rather than be better, think through what is actually required, we seem to want to cling to incantations of ridiculous precision (3.5 per cent? Really? Really??).

We seem hell-bent (interesting phrase) to be seen building ever bigger bamboo planes – that is to say, our rallies, our sages on the stages, our redolent and indolent blockades and barricades which we then recreate once “back home” (and so then alienate hundreds of potential supporters). And the smugosphere thickens, and the emotacycle rolls on…

We need to accelerate the socio-technical (or socio-material, if you will) transitions/transformations. We really do. And the evidence (from my own life, from the literature, much of it quite interesting), is that the state usually has a role to play (tough luck, anarchist dogmatists). And the power of the state (however you understand it) is probably best leveraged via decent social movements, movements that can stick around, not get co-opted, repressed, bored into oblivion. Movements that grow, learn, organise, win, grow, learn, organise….

The tl:dr – We need to act as we never have before, NOT precisely as we always have. That requires honesty, and guts. I am not hopeful, because I am not an idiot (subs, please check). But on my good days, with courageous friends, I have courage.

Karma does what karma does.

About 15 years ago I went on a training day (it didn’t work – I stayed a douche).

It was union steward training. Mostly those days were death by powerpoint, info-deficit tosh.  This one thing I am about to describe, though, it stands out.

It was a card game/exercise.  Each individual was given a card that only they could look at.  They were allowed to answer questions about it, but they could not freely describe what was on the other side.  All the cards together – in some format – added up to a picture or pattern that would be obvious if they were all turned face-upward and re-arranged.

One person in the team was supposed to co-ordinate, and the team ‘won’ by being able to describe the picture on the back simply by communicating with each other, within a time frame.

The trainers in chief chose me to be co-ordinator. And I fucked it up, because they (astutely- though it wasn’t difficult to figure out)  put the key info in the hands of more diffident, older and – gasp – female people.

And because those people weren’t asked the right questions at the right time, and actively listened to/space created for them to speak, we didn’t solve it.  One person’s fault only – mine.

Though I haven’t been able to act (consistently) on that particular lesson, the experience stayed with me   (To be fair to myself – on my good days I try, and on my very best days I succeed in overcoming this. I obsess about it a lot – the quiet voices being the ones with the most important pieces of the puzzle – being unable to pierce the smugosphere ).

 

So, 15 years on, the big wheel has turned, as it does.  Now I am on the receiving end. Not because I am diffident or fit any of the usual low status categories, but because I am dissident from the dissidents. I can’t take their particular riding of the emotacycle seriously.  And so I am easy to overlook (who knows, perhaps that’s what I want – to be the ‘Cassandra’).

 

I have important pieces of the puzzle (I think I do, anyhows – and I don’t see anyone else asking the same specific questions about social movement organisation longevity, effectiveness, self-defeating rituals and norms: Maybe I need to get out more).  And I am being ignored – the way I ignored other people 15 years ago, if not for quite the same reasons.  And I don’t think the team will win, I really don’t.

What goes around, comes around. Karma gets you like that, eh?  So it goes.

 

 

[19th August- Minor edits and fixes]