Of sadism, cats and enormous white male entitlement

Reader, I am ashamed to admit it, but I liked it when the vet stuck a thermometer up Humbug’s backside.  Humbug did not, and that’s where my enjoyment came from – childishly punishing the little stripey fucker (as he is  usually affectionately – known).

Off his food (seriously not like him), having clearly lost weight, and lethargic, I was worried about him.  A couple of days ago he’d vomitted… So this morning I phoned the vet to try to get a first-thing appointment. No dice – earliest would be 11.40, which would scupper signature-collecting on The Petition with a new volunteer.  Gritted teeth, said yes to that slot, aware that if I didn’t get the cat attention when he needed it, I’d end up spending at least six weeks in an Intensive Care Unit myself.

In the next two hours Humbug mostly sits in silence, clearly not enjoying himself.  But then, of course, when I go to get him, he’s managed to prise past the barricaded catflap, then clamber (Humbug clambers) over the back gate and so in the alleyway.  Captured, he loudly and repeatedly voices his displeasure as we got to the vet (thanks Phil).

Diagnosis – well, given no fever etc, probably just gastroenteritis. The magpie and the pigeon he murdered possibly not agreeing with him.  So, an anti-nausau injection, bland food sachets, and worming tablets. Talk about weight – loss, I’m suddenly sixty pounds lighter…

Bloody cat.

But of course, this “ill, but gets better when medical attention booked” schtick is one that parents of homo sapiens are all too familiar with. And it’s mostly women who do that caring role for the little blighters. And I have the cash, now, to pay for the little furry fucker (who is sleeping on the floor as I speak).

All this is true, but it’s a conscious effort to remember these multiple privileges, and that on balance I am in paradise. I seem to be one of those people who is too self-centred and entitled to internalise emotionally what I know intellectually, so have to constantly remind myself. I’m no better than a bloody cat….

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Two simple questions, zero bloody ideas. wtaf we’re toast

Asides from other frustrations (“250, 150, 100, 65 and oblivious” is all I will say right now) there are a couple of deeper ones. Or rather, one beast, two heads: what is the actual point of academics and think-tankers?  Seriously?  What is the point of them, for progressive social movements?

Yesterday I asked a simple question to a group of academics who’d participated in what sounds like a very worthy project.  The question was “how can academics be good allies to activists, and how would they know if they were succeeding?”  From the blank and confused looks I got from the panel, I could see that this was a question that literally none of them had EVER asked themselves.  WTAF.

So back came “well, I come from an activist background, so….”  and “oh, through my teaching.”

Tonight I asked “what do ‘we’ need to do diff.er.ent.ly?” to a waffle merchant who had treated us all as ego-fodder for 25 minutes (he’d been asked to speak for 15, but did rather like the sound of his own voice.

Again, no serious answer beyond the standard platitudes of ‘intergenerational learning, and ‘build movements’. For this I came out on a rainy night? Srsly?

Again, WTAF.  Why do we pay these people? Why do we pay them any attention? If they’re not able or willing to reflect on history, to be brave and say what they think needs to be DONE DIFFERENTLY, then why do we let them steal time and space at our meetings? Are we so cravenly in need of the affirmation of someone working for some dreary parasitic outfit that we suspend our critical faculties?  Yes. Yes we are.

Here endeth today’s blog post rant….

Wait, what’s that you say?

“What are MY answers, Mr pseudo-intellectual less interesting than a goldfish?” you say?

Well, I’m glad you asked (though I still think you need serious help, but Dunning-Kruger will prevent you).

So, here’s a bunch of things academics could do.

  • Study the rich and what they are doing (while refusing to study the poor)
  • Communicate your findings to relevant groups in relevant ways (youtubes, Conversation articles/blogs, workshops)
  • Never ever speak for longer than you were supposed to at an event
  • Never ever hid behind your “Doctor”/Professor status, if you have it.
  • Ask social movement organisations what research they need doing. and then do it. With them. That is teach them the skills so you become less important as time goes on (it’s also more sustainable that way)
  • Loot the Ivory Tower – there are good ideas, stuck behind jargon walls and paywalls. Translate these and help other people learn to translate, while never needing translating yourself.
  • Tell the truth and expose lies (I nicked that one from Uncle Noam)
  • Provide historical and cultural CONTEXT.
  • Explain useful ideas, academic concepts that can help activists situate themselves and their struggles (Spatial Fix, Sustainability Fix, Movement Cycles, Repertoires, Biographical Availability etc etc etc)
  • Obvs be reflexive about your position in the academy/society, but don’t rend your clothes and beat your breast about it looking for affirmation or forgiveness. It’s tedious and embarrassing.

How will you know if you’re doing a good job?

  • You’ll get attacked by the rich people who are threatened by your work.  They’ll call you a  “so-called academic” for example.

 

As for what we need to do differently. Well, this

  • Let’s hold better meetings where people in love with the sound of their own fucking voices don’t talk for 66 per cent longer than they were supposed to. Let’s laugh/clap those empty vessels off the stage when their time is up
  • Let’s have organisations where people can be involved in meaningful, rewarding and recognised ways WITHOUT HAVING TO COME TO MEETINGS.  Most people hate meetings, won’t come to them
  • Let’s make sure that the urgently needed skills are not only possessed by a small group of people who can, in effect, whether accidentally or on purpose, hold a group hostage because only they can…  (run website, facilitate, negotiate with the police, do media interviews etc)
  • Let’s understand that we are looking at a ten year sprint, and that will inevitably be a relay race (the subject of another blog post).
  • Let’s actively seek out people who were involved in previous struggles on the same subject and find out what advice they have to offer. That does NOT mean take the advice- the person might be wrong, the circumstances may have changed etc, but the act of LISTENING will help, no?

Ah, fu k it, none of this will happen, and we’re all(1) going to die pitiful unnecessary but richly deserved deaths. Rather soon.

Footnote

  1. By “all” I mean the privileged people who did sweet fuck all about the problems. Obviously the young, the dirt poor, the oppressed and all the other species do not deserve the pitiful and painful deaths they are already beginning to experience, thanks to the failures of social movement organisations these last (checks notes) fifty years.

 

PS To the woman who told me to get over myself. Thanks (sincerely). You were absolutely right!!!!

Pseud’s Corner entry…. omfg

So, since the last blog post I’ve become Dr Marc.

So it goes.

In more entertaining news, this

“Tikku is a safe-house for neo-archaic biourbanism,” says the literature, “a contemporary cave for a modern urban nomad. It will offer privacy, safety and comfort. All the rest of the functions can be found in the surrounding city.

“Tikku is a needle of urban acupuncture, conquering the no-man’s land from the cars and tuning the city towards the organic. Many Tikkus can grow side-by-side like mushrooms and they can fuse into larger organisms.”

Reader, am not making this up.