Climate change limericks. No, really.

After this, quatrains and stuff.

A proper limerick is improper, imo. “There was a young man named Eenis…” and so on.

Sure, there are some I cherish that are distressingly clean –

but a decent lyric not only scans but is NSFW.

However, we can’t always get what we want, and you defo didn’t want … limericks about climate change. But you get them. That’s just how it is, I don’t make the rules.

The humans polluting the heavens

Were planless; at sixes and sevens.

For some technofixes

Were sevens not sixes

Ignoring t’paradox of Jevons…

And

The leaders on climate are chilling

They’ve tech that is shiny and thrilling

They’ve got all the science

But zero compliance

Next comes the dying and killing

And

There was an old problem called climate

Whose heating, well you could time it

Despite all the treaties

And clever graffitis

It was the end for a species of primate

And

As the heatwaves begin to sear

And our hopes all melt into fear

The discourse gets “hopey”

The actions all dopey

And we’ve nowt to do but drink beer

And

The terrified humans of Earth

Of real power felt such a dearth

That they fell for the COPs

Which they knew were just sops

To which net zero attention was worth

And

The humans who could read up on Keeling

Were plagued with many a feeling

Said “The tech will save us

And never enslave us;”

Then reality left them all reeling.