Fifteen years ago I read the Old Testament (King James Version) and blogged it as I went. I always meant to keep on trucking, but, well, I didn’t.
Now, in January and February of 2026 I am going to read all 27 books of the New Testament (I have a passing familiarity with the Gospels, thanks to secondary school, and I did read the Book of Revelations at some point (fever dream, innit?)
The plan is to read at most ten pages a day, with rest days more frequent than old “1-in-7” for the Gospels through Romans, but then, because it all gets somewhat shorter, one a day for most of February.
Crucially, am blogging as I go.
Oh, and I am going to read Gore Vidal’s 1992 “Live from Golgotha” as soon as I am done with John…
Summary:
You know how this story ends. There’s a bit more detail though, in Chapter 21 about the post-credits sequence…
Historical – when written, by whom
See previous John posts.
Most poetic bits
John 16:32 Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.
Most quotable bits
John 19:22 Pilate answered, What I have written I have written.
Most “wtaf” bit(s)
Chapter 15 etc
What it reminds me of (books/plays/jokes etc)
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Further reading
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Chapter 15
Lots of woo woo
John 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Er, then, why come? Wouldn’t ignorance have been bliss, literally??
John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin.
Chapter 16
“Wow, he is off on one now, isn’t he?” they saith…
John 16:18 They said therefore, What is this that he saith, A little while? we cannot tell what he saith.
John 16:32 Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.
Chapter 17
John 17:12 While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled.
More Jesus-to-God stuff…
Chapter 18
Peter chops off an ICE agent’s ear
John 18:10 Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest’s servant, and cut off his right ear. The servant’s name was Malchus.
Betrays three times before the cock crows
Pilate asks why He’s here. They reply “we brought him here, therefore he’s guilty.”
John 18:30 They answered and said unto him, If he were not a malefactor, we would not have delivered him up unto thee.
Pilate knows they are trying to use him.
John 18:31 Then said Pilate unto them, Take ye him, and judge him according to your law. The Jews therefore said unto him, It is not lawful for us to put any man to death:
Pilate is trying not to make the Bad Decision.
John 18:38 Pilate saith unto him, What is truth? And when he had said this, he went out again unto the Jews, and saith unto them, I find in him no fault at all.
Chapter 19
They remind Pilate they can make trouble for him
John 19:12 And from thenceforth Pilate sought to release him: but the Jews cried out, saying, If thou let this man go, thou art not Cæsar’s friend: whosoever maketh himself a king speaketh against Cæsar.
John 19:19 And Pilate wrote a title, and put it on the cross. And the writing was, JESUS OF NAZARETH THE KING OF THE JEWS.
Quotable!
John 19:22 Pilate answered, What I have written I have written.
John 19: 29
Word – Hyssop Hyssopus officinalis or hyssop is a shrub in the Lamiaceae or mint family native to Southern Europe, the Middle East, and the region surrounding the Caspian Sea. Due to its purported properties as an antiseptic, cough reliever, and expectorant, it has been used in traditional herbal medicine.
John 19:30 When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.
Retconning the prophesies
Also, there’s no “why has thou forsaken me?”
Chapter 20
Open tomb
Half-assed investigation
Mary weeping, met by two angels
Mary and Jesus
Proof destroys faith etc
John 20:20 And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord.
“The argument goes something like this: ‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, ‘for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’ “ ‘But,’ says Man, ‘the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’ “ ‘Oh dear,’ says God, ‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. “ ‘Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Bless him, Thomas very empirical – nullius in verba and all that.
John 20:25 The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.
“But wait, there’s more.”
John 20:30 And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book
Chapter 21
Jesus wearing disguises? What, a Groucho Marx glasses and ‘tache ensemble? A V for Vendetta mask? I think we should be told.
John 21:4 – But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus.
The story of catching lots of fish, on his – sorry – His – advice is now post-crucifixion (was pre-cross in other Gospels)
Jesus and Simon
older people nervous about long-distance travel. Leg room, uneven surfaces, toilet facilities etc. It’s all legit.
John 21: 18 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
WTAF?
John 21: 23-4 Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?24This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true.
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